


the persephone project

by isthiswhattheycallwriting



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Reader Has Powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-06 17:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18392747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isthiswhattheycallwriting/pseuds/isthiswhattheycallwriting
Summary: After Clint Barton brought Natasha Romanov to S.H.I.E.L.D., she rescued the one person she considered to be her family.  She left you on Clint's farm, out of the reach of the Red Room and HYDRA, and away from the dangers of S.H.I.E.L.D..  But after the Snap is reversed and you're brought back from the dead, Natasha brings you to live in New York with her and you see a familiar face.





	1. one

The first time he sees you, he’s almost sure that he’s dreaming.  He even goes as far as pinching the skin of his right arm between cool, metal digits, but that only results in a small twinge of pain that confirms that yes, he’s awake.  Steve keeps glancing at him with a worried expression, his brows furrowed as he mutters words that Bucky doesn’t hear.

He’s too focused on you.

 Natasha is making introductions, though you’re standing halfway behind her, like you’re trying to hide from the people gathered around you.  Your bottom lip is caught between your teeth, and he has to fight the urge to walk over and kiss you.

 _Don’t be ridiculous_ , he thinks to himself as he tries to shake himself out of whatever stupor you’ve put him into.  He doesn’t understand why he’s so enraptured with you.  It shocks him, actually, how drawn he is to you.  Like a moth to a flame.

“This is my sister.”

“Your sister?”  Steve is staring at Nat, his mouth opening and closing as he tries to make sense of what’s going on in front of him.  “How—What—I—”

Bucky reaches his hand up and closes the blond’s mouth.  “You look like a fuckin’ codfish.”

And you giggle.  His eyes dart back over to you, his heart racing as he watches your hand move up to cover your mouth.  He can’t help but feel a twinge of smugness.

Steve just mutters under his breath, something about how he’d pay for that later.

Nat takes her time, clearly trying to find the best way to go about this.  “Well…  We’re not biologically related.”

And now the rest of them are (understandably) confused.

Tony is the first to speak up, crossing his arms over his chest.  “Then where the hell did she come from?”

“Tony,” Pepper chides from where she’s sitting across the room.  She’s clearly exhausted, the dark under eye circles and the way her head droops telling more than she probably thinks.  After all, Nat had gotten them out of bed as soon as she landed at seven in the morning, and they had literally just gotten home from saving the universe less than six hours ago.

Bucky hadn’t been sleeping, but that was besides the point.

“After Clint brought me in and I joined S.H.I.E.L.D., I went back,” the redhead says slowly, trying her best to gauge everyone’s reactions and keep everyone calm.  “I got her out of HYDRA.”

“You ‘got her out?’” Steve reiterates, a sort of calm fury in his features.  Even Buck knows that he kind of has the right to be a little bit mad.  While the spy can most definitely hold her own, going back to those horrid people was a bad idea.  No matter who she was rescuing.

“I got her out.”  Natasha is staring Steve down, almost daring him to make a comment.

“And where has she been since then?” Bruce asks.

She’s still standing in front of you, and he realizes that it’s not you that’s scared of the team.  It’s Natasha.  She’s scared of the people she’s learned to call family being angry with her, not accepting you, kicking her out.  And Bucky knows.  Bucky knows how hard it is to consider people to be your family when you’ve been trained as the two of them have.  He knows that for her to be risking that for you, just shows how much you mean to her.

“I needed to keep her safe,” she says, and his eyes flicker to where your hand slips into hers, squeezing softly.  It seems to immediately calm her as you stare up at her with soft e/c eyes.  “HYDRA would’ve found her if I just put her in an apartment somewhere, and Clint said that no one knew about his house.  Fury was the only member of S.H.I.E.L.D. to know about it, and I knew he wouldn’t say anything, so I took her there.  I…”  She trails off and her eyes land on right behind Bucky.  On Steve.  “I had to get her out of there.  HYDRA had her for a long time before she came to the Red Room, and after…  The things they were doing to her…”  There’s a steeliness that comes over her green eyes, and it’s different from the usual coldness in her.  It’s harsher, more dangerous.  “She was the only family I had before you guys.  I couldn’t leave her just like I wouldn’t be able to leave any of you.”

Bucky smirks as he shakes his head, knowing that that last line got to the rest of the team, hook, line, and sinker.  After everything that had transpired over the last few years, everyone understood the importance of sticking together.  From the Accords to the Snap to now, less than forty-eight hours after the Snap being reversed…  They understood.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Steve asks, his voice much quieter, and it takes Buck a moment to place the emotion that’s written all over his face.  Steve is  _hurt_.  It makes him glance between his best friend and the redhead several times, little things he had thought were coincidences clicking inside his head.

“I was waiting for the right time,” she finally says, her jaw tense.  “I didn’t know how to bring up the fact that I have a sister I saved from HYDRA when I wasn’t supposed to be outside of the Hub, and the longer I waited…  The harder it became.  How was I supposed to explain that I had a sister that I hid out at Clint’s?”  She pauses, her eyes scanning her teammates’ faces.  “Fury found out after a few months.  He helped me.”

“Wait a minute.”  Bruce’s eyebrows furrow as he looks up at the ceiling, the way he does when he’s trying to make sense of something.  “How did you rescue her when you were here in the U.S. and she was in Russia?”

“She was in Philadelphia on a mission that I knew about before Clint brought me in.  It was easy to get to her once I made it out of the Hub.”  Bucky can tell that there’s more to the story, but he knows that it’d be better to ask about that another time.

There’s a slight moment of silence before everyone erupts into shouts and questions and it all becomes too loud.  Tony, Steve, Bruce, Pepper, and Rhodey are all shouting and Natasha is shouting back.  She reminds him of a mama bear guarding her cubs as she stands almost fully in front of you, hackles raised.  And Bucky thinks about that silence.  He thinks about how in that sliver of a second, your eyes meet his and lock him in place.  The wave of emotions coming off you almost knocks him back a step.

You are terrified.  Your e/c eyes are wide and you’re still biting that  _damned_  lip.  Your hand that isn’t in Natasha’s is gripping the hem of your sweater so tightly that your knuckles are turning white.  And then you’re looking away.  Your eyes are flitting everywhere, over everyone.  You’re trying to make sense of the people in front of you and Bucky understands.  He understands where you’ve been and how you’re starting to feel like a caged animal.

“Can we all stop talking about her like she isn’t here?”  Bucky’s voice is loud, louder than he expected it to be, but it gets the job done.  The people around him go quiet, torn between looking at him and looking at her.  “And maybe ask her what her name is?”

And Natasha looks down at you, squeezing your hand softly.  “It’s okay,” she murmurs into your hair as she takes a step to the side so that you can see everyone.

“My name is Y/N.”  Your voice is soft, like velvet, and it makes Bucky want to close his eyes and drink it in.  “Y/N Romanov.”

Tony is still staring at you skeptically, standing in between Bruce and Rhodey.  He looks pissed as ever with his arms crossed over his chest.  “Are you like Nat?  A Black Widow or whatever?”

You shake your head, looking up at Nat for some kind of guidance.  “No…”  You and Nat seem to have a conversation just with your eyes before you turn back to them.  You’re trying to decide how much to share with this group of strangers.  “I wasn’t in the same program as her.”

“Then what program were you in?”  Tony is getting impatient.  It’s clear in how he widens his stance just a little, and how he’s gotten even snappier in the last thirty seconds.

“I was…  I was trained in the Red Room, but not to the extent that Natasha was.”

“Then what was it?” Rhodey asks, rubbing his temples.  “Because there’s clearly more to it than what you two are telling us.”

Natasha steps forward, clearly ready to tell him off, but you pull her back, shaking your head.  “I’ll tell you the specifics in time, but I was the Persephone Project.”

“The Persephone Project?” Tony scoffs, rolling his eyes.  “The fuck kind of name is that?”

And at that, Natasha actually does step forward.  She’s bristling again, and you’re desperately reaching for the hand that she had pulled away from you.  “I get it—you’re exhausted.  But I’m trying to introduce you to someone who’s important to me.”

“Tony, stop,” Steve says firmly.  He’s shaking his head at the shorter man.  “We just got back, we’re all exhausted, and tensions are running high still.  This isn’t the time for fighting.”

Bucky can’t stop thinking about your voice.  It sounds so familiar, like he’d heard it in a dream, but he’s sure that if he had a dream about you, he’d definitely remember it.  No, there’s something in the back of his mind that tells him that he knows you.  He just doesn’t know where.

“Have we met before?”  He suddenly asks.  He almost freezes as everyone looks at him, still not used to having attention on him.  “When you were in the Red Room?  Or with HYDRA?”

There’s a hesitation as you (once again) glance up at Natasha.  The older girl just shakes her head, clearly leaving the decision up to you.  “Yes.  We’ve met before.”

And that—as well as the strangely sad look in your eyes when you look at him—is all the confirmation he needs to know that you two have a history of some sorts.  He almost asks but decides that it can wait.  You still look like a deer in headlights, and he imagines that all you want to do is get away from the group of them.  Meeting the Avengers for the first time is exhausting.  He knows from experience.

No one needs to ask why Natasha is introducing you now.  The second after they’d gotten back to New York, she had flown with Clint to his farm and come back with you.  Clint had stayed behind, of course, since his entire family was literally back from the dead.  From the way the two of you clung to each other, it wasn’t hard to guess that you’d been one of those affected by Thanos’s snap.

Bucky shudders as he remembers what it had felt like.  The Snap, that is.  The feeling of drifting away… of disappearing.  When he had come back on Wakanda, the first thing he did was cry.  He felt the salty tears stream down his face and he didn’t even feel embarrassed by it.

He had guessed that Nat had someone she cared about when the group had landed back in Wakanda.  He had scrambled towards them when he saw the space ship landing, launching himself at Steve.  The redhead had taken one look at all the people reappearing around them and started screaming for someone to get her a phone.

She had spent the entire flight back to New York on the phone someone had given her and then had boarded another plane with Clint the second they got back.  And now here she was with you.

“I think we should talk about this more once we’ve all gotten rest,” Steve says, weariness coloring his tone.  “And I think Y/N needs time to process.”

And Bucky wants to know so much more about you but he can’t ignore the aching in his bones anymore.  He might only be thirty years old physically, but with all that’s happened, he was feeling the entirety of his hundred years alive.

He watches quietly as Natasha leads you away, both of you whispering too quietly for even his super soldier hearing to pick up.  Her arm is around you, your head leaning against her shoulder.  Steve is still beside him, his eyes locked on the redhead.

“So,” Bucky says as he crosses his arms over his chest, a twinkle in his eyes.  It’s been a long time since he had been able to tease his best friend, and he wasn’t going to let go of the opportunity now.  “When were you going to tell me about you and Nat?”

“There’s nothing to tell,” Steve replies, but the way he clears his throat immediately after makes Bucky raise his eyebrows.  His eyes are shifting, looking anywhere _but_ Bucky.

“Really?  So you’re not hurt that she never told you about her super secret sister?”

“No.  Why would I be?”

“Steve.”

“Bucky.”

Bucky glances back to where you had been walking with Nat, finding that you two had disappeared down the hall.  “You can’t lie to me.  You couldn’t back in the 40s and you certainly can’t now.”

Steve sighs, rubbing his temples as the two of them walk to the kitchen a few feet away.  “I don’t know.  There were a few nights after the Snap…  We got close.”

“Yeah?  How close?”

“Nothing along the lines of what you’re thinking,” he says with a bit of a laugh.  But he hesitates before he continues, reaching into the cabinets to find the coffee grounds.  He had never been a fan of the stuff until the Snap, but here he was now, drinking several cups a day.  “We didn’t know if we were going to live through all of this and—”

“Steve, you don’t have to explain it to me.”  Bucky accepts the mug that the blond slides across the island to him, taking a long drink.  “But it sounds like it became more than just convenient comfort.”

His best friend slides onto the bar stool next to him, glaring down at the dark liquid.  “I don’t know.  I just thought she trusted me more.  She sometimes said stuff that hinted that she had lost someone, but I just thought she meant the other Avengers.  Like Wanda.  And when we were on the run after the Accords…  She kept making all those phone calls to Clint.  I just never thought she’d have been talking to someone that wasn’t him.”

“Maybe she does trust you, but she was scared,” Bucky says, doing his best to understand where he was coming from.  He still wasn’t good at the dating thing.  There hadn’t been much time for that, since he had constantly been on the run or dying since escaping from HYDRA.  “It sounded like she broke a lot of rules when she got Y/N out.  And this is her sister.  Think of how protective you are over me, punk.”

Steve can’t help but laugh a little as he shakes his head.  “You’ve got a point, jerk.”

“Yeah, I know I do.  You’ve just got a thick head,” Bucky says as he reaches over and ruffles his hair.  “I think the serum just made it even thicker.”

Steve sighs as he lets his head hang, his confusion coming off him in waves.  “I should talk to her.”

“I could’ve told you that.”  Bucky’s mind goes back to you and the way you had hesitated when he had asked if the two of you had met.  He swirls the coffee around in his mug, his long hair falling into his face.  “I know it sounds crazy, Steve, but I know Y/N.  I just don’t know how.”

“It doesn’t sound crazy,” Steve insists as he bumps his shoulder against his.  “I’m sure she’ll tell you when she’s ready.  Just give her time.  Let her come to you.”

“Yeah.”  Bucky takes a sip of his coffee, his eyes drifting over to the windows that cover the entire back wall of the living room.  The sun is peeking over the horizon, and it hits him how grateful he is to be able to see the sunrise.  “I can do that.”

He doesn’t have to wait long.

He’s awoken by your screams just a few hours later, and he jumps out of bed, throwing open his door and bolting towards you.  The others are starting to peek out of their rooms, but he doesn’t pay them any mind.

“PLEASE!  STOP!  DON’T TOUCH HIM!  STOP!”

He sees Natasha running into your room just as he enters the hall, and he pauses in the doorway.  You’re thrashing and crying out, tears covering your cheeks as Nat does her best to wake you.  “STOP!  DON’T HURT HIM!”

“Y/N!  Y/N, wake up!”

You suddenly jolt awake, panting as you scramble backwards.  Your eyes are searching the room desperately and when they land on him, he’s surprised to see you  _relax_.  After a moment, you finally notice that your sister is pulling you into her chest and caressing your hair.

“You’re okay,” she whispers, pressing soft kisses to your hair.  Bucky’s never seen her so gentle, so soft.  The redhead is always so guarded and cold that it’s a shock to see her treat someone as though they’re going to break.  “I’m here.  I’m here.”

“James.”

Bucky freezes just as he’s about to leave, shocked to hear his name falling from her lips.  He turns back around and his heart thuds against his rib cage that he’s sure you can hear it from across the room.  You’re looking at him with big doe eyes and clearly going against what Natasha thinks you should be doing.  “I’m here.”

“Please.”  Your voice cracks as Nat lets go of you, watching as he slowly walks closer.

He doesn’t know exactly what your history is, but he can’t deny how strong the urge to pull you into his embrace is.  So he crawls onto the bed and is surprised at how quickly you curl up against his chest.  The second you touch him, he can  _feel_  how scared you are.  He feels his own heart rate getting faster and faster as he tries to will it down.  He can feel your emotions becoming his own, running through his veins like fire, but he doesn't have time to think about it because you’re crying, your tears wet against his bare chest as he rocks you back and forth.  He’s vaguely aware of the click of the door closing, signifying Natasha’s exit.

“I’m sorry,” you croak, your breath hot against his neck.

Bucky pulled you into his lap, his lips tentatively pressed to your forehead.  His fingers catch in the knots of your hair as he runs them through the soft strands.  He could physically feel when you started to calm down, the fire in his veins dissipating.  It's replaced with feelings of security and safety and  _home_.  “You don’t have to apologize, sugar.”

“They were taking you again.”

Bucky goes quiet for a long time as he tries to process what you’ve just said.  “What were you to me?” He asks eventually, his voice barely audible.

But you’ve already gone limp against him, your breath having evened out as slumber took you.  He knew that he needed to ask what the hell that was about later, but right now, you both needed rest before anything else.

He just squeezed you a little tighter, kissing your forehead before allowing sleep to take him.


	2. two

_“My love, come here.”_

_James kept his eyes on the ground as the door to his cell closed behind him, knowing that if you saw his face it would just worry you more.  Exhaustion was coming off of him in waves as familiar hands reached for his.  As soon as you touched him, he felt the calm energy tingle in his veins, effectively taking whatever anger might be left away.  He mutely followed you, letting you pull off all the Kevlar that adorned his body._

_The gasp that fell from your lips is what brought him out of the fog of his mind.  His icy blue eyes focused on you, the furrow in your brow as you reached out to touch the gash that was in his side._

_“You’re hurt.”_

_“It will heal soon, my flower,” he said, his voice a low rumble._

_When you finally looked up at him, his suspicions were confirmed.  Your breath caught in your throat as you took in the broken nose and black eye.  “James…”_

_As sick as it was, a small part of him appreciated that you still got so worried over him.  You treated each wound as if it were the first, as if he wasn’t a super soldier that would be brand new within a day or two, if not by the next morning.  But right now, all he wanted was to bring you into his arms and hold you.  The mission had been successful—they were always successful—but the other guy had still gotten a few hits in and had gone longer than he had hoped it would.  “Just want you.”_

_You shook your head, frowning as you turned him and began to push him towards the bathroom connected to your room.  “First, we’re cleaning you up.”  His gaze is warm as he watches you run around the tiny bathroom, turning on the water and grabbing towels.  “We got fresh sheets today and I’ll be damned if I sleep on blood-soaked sheets.”  He’s confused as you pause, turning to look at him.  “Not that I wouldn’t.  I would sleep anywhere as long as you’re with me.”  Your cheeks turned a rosy pink as you whirled back around, fiddling with things that don’t need to be fiddled with._

_And it struck James just how much he fucking loves you, how much he needs you.  You were in literal hell on Earth, and you didn’t care because you were with him.  Seeing you move around the bathroom made him long for a home with you.  It had really hit him a few missions ago, when he had taken out the subject in his own house.  He had picked through the picture frames, staring long and hard at the smiling faces.  There were little decorations everywhere, little signs of love everywhere.  The crumpled blanket on the couch, the two dirty plates in the sink._

_And it hit him how much he wanted to give you that.  He wanted to give you a home, with a huge bed with as many pillows as you want and a bath tub big enough to fit the both of you.  He wanted to give you a giant kitchen with a radio so that the two of you could dance as much as you wanted and a magnificent garden so you could grow whatever your heart desired.  When he imagined what it would be like, having a home with you, he pictured waking up to the sun streaming in through the window with you curled up against him, making you dinner and surprising you with how well he could actually cook._

_“James?”_

_As he slowly blinked, your worried expression came back into focus._

_“Can you get in the shower?”_

_“Can you get in with me?”_

_You just smiled and rolled your eyes, knowing that his playful banter meant that he was doing somewhat okay, but your clothes soon joined his in a pile on the floor.  You stepped into the shower first, leaving the dirty curtain open for him.  It’s really wasn’t made for two people, let alone a super soldier, but you two made it work.  You somehow managed to clean him off, taking extra care around the wounds that were already starting to heal on their own._

_It does get uncomfortable and extra squished when he has to squat down for you to wash his hair, but it doesn’t take long and the kisses you pressed all over his face distract him.  It’s much easier for him to return the favor as you stay tucked into his chest._

_There’s never anything sexual about your showers, even if you wanted them to be.  For one, there’s no space for such a thing.  And two, it felt like your one sacred place.  It’s your little corner of the world where the two of you can pretend that no one can touch you, that no one will come to take him from you.  He spends his time in the shower daydreaming about the life he would build with you if it weren’t for the handlers and agents and scientists._

_“James?”_

_His heart skips a beat as he refocuses, realizing that you were watching him with those stunning e/c eyes.  His hands are a little shaky as he cups your face.  Without a second thought, he dipped his head down and—_

* * *

 Bucky’s chest is heaving as he jolts awake.  It takes him a moment to remember where he is, but when he turns and sees you tucked into his side, it all comes back.  He takes a long moment to just look at you as he desperately hopes that you don’t wake up.  If you caught him staring, you’d probably think he was some kind of creep and that’s the absolute last thing that he wants.  But you just look so… peaceful.  Your hair is a tangled mess on the pillow, your eyes still a little puffy from the night before.  Your arms are wrapped tightly around his midsection and he can tell that your lips are a little swollen from biting them so roughly.

He takes his time as he slips out of your embrace, doing his best to not wake you.  You stir a little at the loss of his warmth.  As you curl up into yourself, he can hear a bit of a whine that makes his lips tug up in a smile.  The soft look on your face is such a stark contrast to the panic he had seen last night that it sends a pang through Bucky’s heart.  Before he leaves, he glances back at you with a faint smile before shutting the door behind him with a click.

When he makes his way to the kitchen, he’s surprised to find Natasha already sipping her coffee.  “Morning,” he says, his voice still rough from sleep, as he moves to grab his own special mug.  It’s the typical “I <3 New York” mug, but he loves it.  It was the first thing Steve had given him when he’d moved into the compound.

“Good morning,” she says, scrolling through the news on her phone.  Things were slowly getting back to the way it was, though it had only been a day or so since the Snap had been reversed, and the news was one of things to get up and running.  He could remember how desperate she had been to keep up with current news when they were on the run, and it was nice to see her take her time with the activity for once.  “You two slept for an entire day.”

“What?”  He shakes his head, glancing down at someone’s tablet that had been left on the counter.  The date was plastered at the top of the screen and sure enough, you two had slept through the afternoon, night, and onto the next morning.  “Has anyone else been up?”

“Everyone’s been sleeping on and off for the past day, so you two aren’t getting judged, if that’s what you’re worried about,” she teases, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.  Natasha is as worn down as the rest of them.

He leans against the counter, watching her face closely.  “And you?  Did you sleep at all?”

The redhead shrugs, setting her phone down to rest on the counter so she can look at the man in front of her.  “I got a few hours.  It wasn’t great sleep, but it was something.”

“You’re still worried about her,” Bucky says, realization coming over him.

“Of course, I am,” Nat says after a long pause, her voice shaky.  “I promised her when I got her out of HYDRA that I wouldn’t let anything happen to her.  And when she disappeared with the Snap…  I could feel it.”  She wipes at her eyes, trying to hide any sign of tears.  “I’ve been taking care of that girl since she was eight years old.  I just didn’t realize how much she was taking care of me, too.”

He reaches out to her, grasping her hand in his and squeezing.  “We’re back.  She’s here.  She’s not going anywhere.”

“I know.  And it’s a dream, having her here with you guys.  I spent years debating when the right time would be, but I should’ve just done it a long time ago,” she murmurs, laughing a little.  “As great as everyone is, you know they’re all going to be giving you shit for sleeping in her room.”

Bucky huffs as his head drops into his hands.  “She was crying.  And reaching out to me.  How was I— I don’t—”  He takes a moment to take a deep breath, trying to steady himself.  “I know her.  I know that I know her and I know that she meant something to me, but I don’t know what it is.  And when she looked at me with those eyes…”

“You melted.”

It’s said so matter-of-fact that Bucky can’t help but roll his eyes a little.  He doesn’t know how he feels about being so… so lovesick.

“Don’t worry,” she says, mirth in her voice and a twinkle in her eyes.  “Everyone’s like that with Y/N.”

“What do you mean?”

“She has this way of just… breathing life in to the people around her, if that makes sense.”  She smiles in the direction of your room, fondness and love practically seeping from her pores.  “She brightens up every room she enters, I swear.”

Buck bites his lip, a few pieces of his hair falling into his face.  “I just wish I knew how I knew her.”

“HYDRA took your memories of her.”  Nat sounds so nonchalant, he wants to scream.  But when he looks up at her, he’s surprised to find sympathy.  “I’m not surprised.  I expected it, actually.”

“Nat, what’s going on?  And what’s up with her?  When she touched me…”

“She’s enhanced.  Like how Wanda is.”

Bucky runs his fingers through his hair as he lets that sink in for a moment.  For a second, his mind goes back to you and how he woke up this morning, wishing he could go back to that.  He can still picture you curled up against his chest, the feeling of your skin against his and the smell of your shampoo.  “How is she enhanced?”

“She can effect people’s emotions.  When she’s calm, she’s able to control it but last night…  I’m assuming you felt what she was feeling.”

“I…”  Bucky’s heart is hammering as he goes back to last night.  “I could feel how scared she was, Nat.  It was…  It was terrifying.”

She nods as she takes a long drink of her coffee.  “She can control other’s emotions, make them feel however she wants.  But that’s only when she’s in control.  If she’s in distress, it kind of goes haywire.  And she tends to make everyone else around her feel what she feels.  And her emotions are always on level ten, so it’s like… everything you feel is on steroids.”

“You can say that again.”  He watches Natasha move around the kitchen, reaching up to grab an extra mug.  “I had…  I had a dream.  She was there.  We were with HYDRA.”

She reaches up and grabs another mug, pouring an extra cup of coffee.  He waits patiently for her to talk as she pulls out coffee creamer, pouring a generous amount into the mug.  It’s not until she puts the creamer back in the fridge that she turns to him.  “It’s better if she explains what happened between you two.”

At that moment, you shuffled into the kitchen, your flannel pants dragging along the floor.  “Morning,” you grumble, rubbing your eyes.

Wordlessly, Nat pushes the extra coffee towards you, and Bucky realizes that she knew you so well that she could sense when you woke up and would have your coffee ready just how you liked it.  He clears his throat after a moment, not meeting your eyes.  “How are you feeling?”

“I feel fine,” you hum, barely louder than a whisper.  Your voice is raspy from sleep and it sends a little jolt through him.  “Well rested.”

His eyes meet yours as you instinctively reach towards him, your hand resting on his right arm.  A sense of calm washes over him as his eyes roam your face, and he realizes that he doesn’t even care that you’re using your powers on him.  His eyes rest on where you’re biting your lip, his mind going back to the dream that had felt so real.  “Uh, sorry,” he murmurs as he quickly turns away, completely forgetting that Natasha is also in the room.

But then your hand is gone from where it had rested on his arm, and he curses himself, watching as you cradle it to your chest.  “I’m sorry.  I…  I forgot.”  The look in your doe eyes as you stare down at the marble of the island is heart wrenching.  It’s almost like you feel lost, not being able to touch him as you apparently had so long ago.  “Old habits.”

“I don’t mind.”  He feels his heart pounding as you look up at him, mouth hanging open in shock.  His hands immediately feel clammy and he fights the urge to rub them off on his pants.  “I, uh…  I know you meant something to me.  Even if I don’t know what it is.”

You open your mouth, as though to explain what the hell your history with him was, but then Sam  _fucking_ Wilson walks in.  He completely ignores the tension between the two of you, or the fact that Natasha is glaring at him, and moves to loudly dig through the cabinets until he finds his cereal.  As he reaches into the fridge for the milk, he turns and points a finger at you.  “You’re Nat’s sister, right?”  At your nod, he continues, pouring his cereal like nothing was out of the norm.  “Steve mentioned when I got in that she brought you in.  I’m Sam.  Sam Wilson.”

He reaches across to shake your hand as you reply with a soft smile, “I’m Y/N.”

And  _oh_ , Bucky wants to reach over and slap the smirk off of Bird Brain’s face.  Because his eyes have zeroed in on the way his thumb is caressing your hand and he’s saying his usual, _“How you doin’?”_   And it’s strange, because he’s never reacted to Sam flirting with someone like this.  He’s never cared before now.  But now he can feel something akin to a growl forming in his throat.

“Sam, hands off my sister before I kill you.”

You shrug innocently as the man quickly releases his grip on you, all of you turning to look at Natasha.  “She’s protective.”

“That’s cold, Nat,” he says with narrowed eyes, picking up his cereal once again.  “Did Bucky get the same warning or am I just special?”

“I don’t know if special is the word for it,” the redhead teases, her hip bumping up against his.

“Is he always like that?”

Bucky turns, surprised to find your focus entirely on him.  You were speaking low enough that it was clear you didn’t mean for anyone else to hear.  His cheeks warm as he looks down at his coffee, nodding slightly as he coughs.  _Get a hold of yourself_ , he thinks, glancing back up at you and then back down at his coffee once again.  You made him nervous but in a good way, and that was rather jarring.  “Yeah, he’s, uh…  Sam’s a character.”

“Are you two close?”

It surprises Bucky, that he can see how much it takes for you to not reach out and touch him.  The way you’ve leaned into him, how your hand trembles slightly.  “Yeah,” he says with a faint smile.  “He’s a good friend, even if he is a pain in the ass.”

Bucky thinks he might devote the rest of his life to making you laugh.  The way your eyes crinkle and your hand reaches up to cover your mouth captivates him.  He wants to reach up and pull your hand away, tell you to never hide your laugh, but he thinks that might be too weird.  Especially since Natasha and Sam were still in the room.

“Why does he get to flirt with her and I don’t?”

His eyes stay on you, even as you turn to stick your tongue out at Sam.  He’s mapping your features as though you’re going to disappear.  It scares him how you’ve already stolen his heart, and all you really had to do was walk in the door.

Granted, there’s probably more to the story than that, but he still feels like a teenage boy again.  And even then, no girl ever affected him the way you’re affecting him now.  It’s… intoxicating.  Infuriating.  It’s some word that he can’t think of but is going to drive him up a wall.

“Your body remembers what your mind doesn’t.”

It takes him a moment to realize that you’ve turned back to him while Natasha and Sam keep bickering.  “What?”

There’s a sad look that he can’t quite name in your eyes as you watch him.  Your hands are wrapped around your coffee, holding it close as though it’ll protect you.  “Even though HYDRA wiped your memories of me from your mind, your body still recognizes me.  Kind of like how you probably realized that you knew Steve before you knew how?”  When he nods, you huff and glance down at your coffee.  “I can explain everything, if you want.  But not here.”

It’s then that he realizes that that look in your eyes…  It was longing.  Pure, almost mournful longing.  He clears his throat, trying to make it seem like he wouldn’t give you absolutely anything in the world you asked for.  “I see.”

“It’s… a conversation best held in private.”

He’s shocked as you stand and start to leave the kitchen, calling after you, “Wait, right now?”

You’ve taken your coffee with you, not bothering to look back.  “Would you rather it be another time?”

Bucky takes another moment, glancing back at Sam and Nat before he makes the decision to follow after you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	3. three

Natasha stood in the kitchen for a long time, staring down at her now cold coffee.  It had only been a few minutes since you had led Bucky out of the room but it felt like an eternity.  She didn’t even notice Sam leave.

She didn’t even notice when Steve entered the kitchen until his hand came to rest on her shoulder, asking softly, “Are you okay?”

It surprises her how high she jumps.  It’s unusual for her to be so… _unaware_.  But she plasters on a smile anyway, one she’s sure that he sees through.  “Of course.  Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Come on, Nat,” Steve says, his hand moving down to grasp hers.  His hand is rough and calloused, similar to hers.  If it were any other man, she’d have snatched it away.  But it’s Steve, and he’s looking at her with those bright blue eyes that make her heart skip a beat, and she knows that she’d do almost anything he asked of her as long as he kept looking at her like that.  “You can talk to me.”

They hadn’t put a label on whatever the hell was going on between them.  Hell, she felt like she was imagining all the affection he gave her half the time.  After the Snap, there were a quite a few nights—they stayed together more often than they didn’t, if she was being honest—when they would end up in the same bed, but it was never anything more than holding each other tight and whispering until the sun peeked over the horizon.  There were a few times he had almost kissed her, but he hadn’t.  Normally, Natasha was the one to take the lead.  She could seduce people she didn’t care about, that was easy.  But this was _romance_ and she  _cared_  about Steve.  It had terrified her when she first realized it, back when they were on the run after the Accords.

You had been the first person she had told after managing to find a payphone in some small town in Finland.

* * *

" _Y/N, I don’t know what to do,” she said, keeping her voice to a low whisper.  There was no way in Hell she wanted to chance any of the others hearing her.  She took a quick glance behind her, checking on her team.  Steve and Bucky were sitting on different benches down the street, keeping an eye on her.  Sam had been sent to grab food, and Wanda and Vision were in a town close by.  “I can’t… look at him anymore.”_

_“You can’t look at him?”_

_She could hear the laughter you were trying to hold back, and it made her heart lurch.  To hear you laughing…  It was all she could’ve ever asked for.  When she had first gotten you out of HYDRA’s grasp, you had been a mess.  You had been ripped away from Bucky—James, as the both of you knew him back then—and hadn’t been happy in who knows how long.  It took over six months of living for you to smile.  You still hadn’t stopped looking over your shoulder, but there was a sense of normalcy in living with the Barton’s.  You even had a job at the local bookstore and took classes online to make up for the education you missed.  “This isn’t funny.”_

_“It kind of is,” you said, the sound of cartoons in the background.  You had definitely been watching some Disney movie with Cooper and Lila when she called.  But she didn’t mind.  You hadn’t gotten to watch Disney movies as a kid, and just knowing you could have that experience brought a smile to Natasha’s face._

_Granted, she hadn’t ever gotten to watch them either until she visited you at Clint’s farm and you made her watch_ Cinderella _,_ The Little Mermaid _, and_ Pocahontas _in one sitting._

_“Y/N…”_

_You sighed into the phone, and she can just imagine you tugging on a piece of your hair as you contemplated how to help.  “From what you’ve told me about Steve, it sounds like he cares about you, too.  Would it really be so horrible if you told him, Nat?”_

_“Yes!”_

_“Nat, I—"_

_“Y/N, I have to go,” she said, her moon dropping substantially.  She hated saying goodbye to you more than anything in the world.  After all, there was no guarantee on how often she got to call you.  Sometimes, she went just a few hours without calling you, and other times it was weeks._

_“Okay.  I love you.  Be safe, okay?”_

_“I love you, too.  I’ll call you as soon as I can.”_

* * *

As she looked at Steve now, she wonders why she didn’t just tell him back then.  He had known that she was calling Clint, but not about you.  Hell, when the Avengers had camped out at his farm during the whole Ultron thing, she had made sure that you wouldn’t be home for the duration of the stay.  You had stayed with a friend you worked with—Evelyn, she thinks her name is—and Nat had only gotten to see you when she snuck out after everyone else had fallen asleep.

And it wasn’t that she didn’t trust her team.  It was that she had been desperate to keep you safe.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Y/N,” she finally says, desperately hoping that he’s not mad at her.

Steve shook his head, laughing a little as he looks down at the counter.  “I can’t lie, I was hurt at first…  But Bucky kind of talked some sense into me.”  He squeezed her hand a little, but doesn’t move from where he was standing next to her.  “I understand why you did it.”

“I know…  I know we’re not biologically related,” Natasha started, swallowing down the lump in her throat, “but she _is_ my sister.  The day I first met her, I was ten.  I don't think I'd ever seen someone so scared.”

* * *

 " _Natalia.”_

_She turned around from where she had been heading to the showers, confusion written on her face.  Her hair is still in a tight ballet bun, her leotard sticking to her skin from the sweat.  “Yes, Madame?”_

_Madame B stood at the end of the hallway, as imposing as ever.  There was a man beside her, but he was kneeling down and whispering to someone behind him.  The older woman waited with cold, dead eyes for the redhead to stand right in front of her before she continued to speak.  “You’re easily one of our best students, Natalia, and therefore, we have a new assignment for you.”  She motioned to the man, who stood and towered over the older woman.  “This is Doctor List.  And this is his daughter, Y/N.”_

_Natalia watched in surprise as the man stepped aside to reveal you.  From what she could tell, you were only about eight.  Sheltered, too, by the way you clung to the man.  “It’s a pleasure to meet both of you.”_

_“Doctor List wants his daughter trained, but not with the rest of the girls.  She’s… special.  By training her, you’ll become part of a very important project, Natalia.”_

_She nodded, her eyes meeting yours.  “Yes, Madame.”_

_“Y/N needs to be taught how to defend herself against the Winter Soldiers.  You remember them, yes?”  When Nat nodded, the woman continued, “She’s going to be around them often.  We doubt they will harm her, giving her… skillset, but it would do well for her to be prepared.  Think more defensive techniques than offensive.”_

_“Yes, Madame.”_

_The man turned to you once again, smiling at the way you held his hand. “Darling, you have to let go now, okay?”_

_“But, father—”  Your eyes glistened with tears as you stared up at the man, shaking like a leaf._

_“Y/N,” he said slowly, squeezing your hands softly.  “I promise you I’ll visit as often as I can.  But you have to be brave, alright?”  When you nodded after a moment’s hesitation, he pulled you into a tight hug.  “I’m so proud of you, my daughter.  I love you.”_

_“I love you, too, father,” you said, eyes wide as he let you go._

_Natalia’s heart clenched as the man pushed you towards her, trying her best to seem welcoming.  She knew how frightening it could be when you first arrived.  Madame B wasn’t exactly warm and motherly.  “Hello, Y/N.  I’m Natalia.”  She reached out her hand, hoping you would take it.  “We’re going to be the best of friends.”_

* * *

 “Come to find out, her parents had been killed during a HYDRA raid.  They were S.H.I.E.L.D. agents.”  Nat took a deep breath, trying to keep her heart rate steady.  “The group that had killed them found her in her nursery and brought her to Doctor List.  He raised her as his daughter, but she was more his experiment than anything.”

“Did she know?  That he wasn’t her father?” Steve asks, his lips pressed into a thin line.

It matters a lot to Natasha, knowing that he already cares about you.  Part of it, she knew, was because of his nature.  He tended to care about everybody, especially if one of the team members cared about them.  “She found out about a month after I got her out,” she says.  “She spent that month going through the Persephone Project book, and when she didn’t learn anything about List from there, I hacked into HYDRA and found the report of when she was brought in myself.”

“The Persephone Project book?” Steve repeats, confusion flickering over his features.

“You know that red book with the black star on it?  The Winter Soldier book?”  Nat asks, and when he nods hesitantly, she continues, “Well, that’s Bucky’s book.  Each Winter Soldier had their own book that their handlers kept.  Y/N had one, too.”

“Why would she—”

“It was a handbook on how to keep control of her, since her powers can border on mind control if done right,” Nat explains.  “She has it, actually.  Should be coming in with the rest of her stuff from Clint’s tomorrow.”

He sighs as he intertwines his fingers with hers.  “You know, you don’t have to tell me any of—”

“I want to.”  Her eyes flicker up to meet Steve’s.  “She’s important to me and you…  You’re important to me.  I want to tell you this.”  He nods after a long moment, and she continues, “She became my best friend.  We did everything together.  Training, eating, sleeping.  But when she turned fifteen, they gave her a watered down version of the super soldier serum to slow down her aging.”

“Is that why she looks like she’s twenty-three?” Steve jokes, knocking her hip with his a little teasingly.

“Yeah, yeah,” she says as she knocks her hip back against his.  She smiles up at him for just a second, before her mind goes back to where you were now.  “Bucky killed for her, you know,” she says slowly, hesitant to look back on her memories of that time.  “They started using her to calm down the Winter Soldiers when she was sixteen.  Since I’d graduated that same year, they kept me around when I wasn’t on a mission to help Y/N keep up with her training.  As soon as they would get back from a mission, HYDRA’d have her there while they strapped the Soldier to the chair.  She’d…  She’d talk to them.  Comfort them.  Tell them stories.”  Nat’s eyes slightly glaze over as she stares down at the counter.  She’d been in the room that day, and it had been terrifying.

* * *

  _Natalia frowned from where she was resting against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest.  She had gotten back from a mission just an hour earlier and had been excited for her training session with you, but then you had gotten called in._

_James is sitting in the chair, and you’re resting on one of the arms.  But she’s more focused on where your hand is intertwined with his.  His thumb is gently rubbing your skin, his blue eyes focused on you as you talk quietly, and she knows that it’s more than just you calming him down.  She had known James for quite a few years, and had never seen him look so… soft?_

_Every single person that met you adored you, that was for certain.  The other girls at the Red Room, HYDRA agents, even the other Winter Soldiers.  There were a few of them, not that Nat really cared to keep track.  You only knew them by their first names, and while she knew that you had mentioned a Vincent, a Leon, and a Wesley, she didn’t really care.  But the biggest thing they had in common was they all looked forward to seeing you, knowing that seeing you meant feeling calm and happy for at least a little while.  She could see how they would let their guard down around you, content to listen to the sweet timbre of your voice for as long as they could._

_But the way that James was looking at you was different.  It’s a kind of devotion that Nat knows she has in her own eyes when she looks at you._

_And you don’t even seem to notice._

_“—your favorite flower, James?”_

_And the poor man looks so startled, so shocked.  He clearly hadn’t been expecting that kind of question from you.  “Uh, what?”_

_Your giggle filled the air, your nose scrunching, and Nat can’t help but smirk at how lovestruck James looks.  “What’s your favorite flower?”_

_“Uh…  I don’t know,” he said, his brows furrowed.  “I’ve never…  I’ve never thought about it.”_

_“I really like sunflowers.  But you seem like you’d really like roses.  Red ones,” you murmured, leaning against him as you looked down at your intertwined fingers.  “Father always brings me flower seeds so I can grow them in my room.  He said it's because everyone calls me Persephone and she's the Greek goddess of flowers."_

_Natalia thinks it's a little amusing, how you seem so oblivious to the man you're curled up against.  It’s also a little nice, getting to actually see you around James.  You’d talked about him for hours on end (unlike the other Soldiers, who you’d only vaguely mention after having calmed them down) but seeing it in person was an entirely different thing.  You've never been as comfortable and affectionate with any of the other Winter Soldiers, and Nat knew at that moment that you cared just as much for him as he did for you._

_A frown pulled at your lips as you nuzzled a little further into James's side, causing him to swing your legs over his lap.  The hand that wasn’t in yours landed to rest on your knee and his breath seemed to catch in his throat.  "One time he brought sunflower seeds from America after a business trip.  I grew them in my room for a long time, but…”_

_“But what?”  Concern filled those icy blue eyes as he squeezed your hand, trying to get you to continue._

_“One of the agents…”  Your voice had gone low, your eyes a little sad.  “He destroyed the flowers.  All of them.  He came into my room a few weeks ago to bring me here for one of the other Soldiers, and just… swiped his hand along the windowsill and knocked them all to the floor.”_

_James opened his mouth to respond, anger darkening those sea blue eyes of his, but was cut off by a HYDRA agent._

_The agent’s hand wrapped around your upper arm and dragged you out of the chair, off of James’s lap.  “Time for you to go, princess,” he sneered, pushing you towards the door.  “Back into your tower.”_

_Natalia is already moving from the wall to confront the agent when it happens.  As you’re heading for the exit, the agent brings his hand back and swings it forward, the_ slap _on your ass resounding throughout the lab.  All she can hear is your yelp of pain and shock, quickly followed by a snap._

_James has the agent’s head in his hands, having snapped his neck with zero effort.  The people bustling around the room had gone dead silent, scared for what he would do next.  But he just dropped the agent and turned to you.  “Are you okay, my flower?”_

_When you nodded, he carefully walked towards you, as though he was worried you were going to run away.  But you did the exact opposite, running towards him and burrowing your head in his chest..  “James…”_

_Nat relaxed a little, watching him hold you.  The way his arms were wrapped around you, his face buried in your hair as he whispered reassurances…  He loved you.  Whether he knew it or not._

* * *

“And that was only the first time he killed for her,” Natasha says with a weak laugh.

Steve’s brows furrow.  “Only the first time?”

She shrugs, a million different memories of James’s protective streak running through her mind.  “You have to understand, even though everyone thought Y/N was List’s daughter, she was still considered a weapon first and foremost.  A project.  And they weren’t kind to any of their weapons.”  She let go of Steve’s hand, setting her empty mug in the sink.  “After that night, they moved Y/N into James’s room, and that was that.”  She leans back against the counter, her arms crossed over her chest.  “But they took it slow.  I don’t know if it was the fact that she’d never even kissed a boy before or if it’s because Buck’s from the 40s, but they didn’t even kiss for six months until six months after she moved.  He slept on the floor.”

“That doesn’t sound like Buck,” he muses, standing across from Nat so he could look her in the eye.  Mostly because he really really likes her eyes, but that’s besides the point.  “He never took things slow before.  He was out with a different girl almost every weekend.”

She shrugs as she begins to lead him out of the kitchen, towards the gym.  She could stand to work out a bit of energy.  “You should’ve seen the way he would look at her, Steve.  It’s like…  It’s like she was the sun of his world.”

“He really loved her,” Steve mumbled.  His heart hurt for his best friend.  Here was this girl who utterly loved and adored him with all of her heart, and he couldn’t even remember her.

“I have to say,” Nat says as they enter the elevator, “it’s both terrifying and relieving, knowing that the most dangerous man in the world is in love with my sister.”

“Terrifying?”

She looks up at Steve as the doors shut, a weight heavy in her heart.  “HYDRA’s still out there.  We might be at peace now, but if something happens to her…”

Realization dawns on his face as his hands form into fists.  “He’d tear the world apart to get her back.”

* * *

 “—still calm you and the other Soldiers down after missions, but eventually, I just became yours,” you say as you watch Bucky’s face carefully, trying to gauge what he was thinking.  You could feel his emotions, confusion being the loudest, but you weren’t a mind reader.  “I can tell you another story, but that’s a bit of a long one.”

“That’s… a lot,” Bucky says, letting out a huff of air as he stands up from the bed.  You had just explained everything.  How you two met, what you meant to each other… and he was right, it was a lot.  But just from meeting you, from seeing your face and hearing your voice, he had started to get little flashes.  He assumes that you telling him all of this would only help even more, but he couldn’t be sure.

You sat on the bed, fiddling with the hem of your shirt as you watched him start to pace back and forth.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t…  I didn’t mean to overwhelm you.”

“It’s not your fault,” Bucky rushes out, his eyes wide as he desperately tries to reassure you.  “Really.  I…  I believe that all of this happened.”  He pauses as he runs his fingers through his long brown hair.  “And last night, I…  I had a dream.  But I think it might’ve been a memory of some sort.”

“About us?”

There’s a small twinkle in your eyes, and Bucky’s lips pull up into a small grin.  “Yes, about us…”  He clears his throat, trying to get the words out without blushing.  “You were… taking care of me after a mission.”

It frustrates him, that he’s blushing.  After all, it’s not like they’d been having sex or anything.  You had just been doting on him, taking care of him.

Loving him.

“I did that a lot after I was moved into your room.  Even if there was another Soldier that needed me before I became just yours, I’d insist on tending to you first.  They’d get angry with me, but eventually back down when they realized I wasn’t backing down,” you say, nostalgia filling your voice.  “It always terrified me when you would leave.  They’d never tell me how long you’d be gone either.  If I was lucky, it’d be just a few hours, but most of the time it was at least a few days.  The longest you were ever gone was two months.”  You were still picking at the hem of your shirt, but your eyes had drifted to stare down at the ground.  “They’d let me wander around the base, train with Natasha…  But my mind was always on you.  Where you were, when you’d be home, if you were alive…”

He wanted to sit back down beside you and pull you into his arms, but he wasn’t sure if that was appropriate.  “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”  You stood up, taking a few steps towards him.  Your hand reaches out for his tentatively, and he lets you take it without any hesitation.  “None of it was your fault.”

And Bucky realizes, as you wrap your arms around him, just how much trouble he’s in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm hoping to update by the end of the weekend, but I have auditions for my university fall shows. I hope you enjoyed, and let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a rewrite of the first story I called the Persephone Project. I originally wrote it with Nat being the main antagonist, and that just didn't sit right with me. So let me know what you think!


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